And then it was over! I need a Twinkie.

So after all of the excitement of Monday evening, I was shipped off to the Nerancy-Neuro ICU.  Two nurses took off my gown and wiped all of the iodine off of me from my embolization.  Talk about humiliating -- but I learned from having babies that there is no privacy in the hospital.  Later on Dr. Weintraub came by to put on these lifesaver shaped things on my head.  I can't remember what they are really called.  He used a disposable razor (ugh) to shave about 10 spots and then stuck those things on and marked them with a Sharpie.  (Was I allowed any dignity? My God.)  Late that night I was wheeled through the empty and breezy hallways of the hospital down to the MRI ladies.  They are right beside the ER but everything was very quiet.  The sensors plus the MRI would help the docs to map exactly where this thing was in my head.

Tuesday morning I had just peed (no bathrooms in the NICU, only a bedside port-a-potty all the older nurses called a 'commode') and luckily was decent when Dr. Shaffrey showed up in his scrubs.  It was 6:30am.  He said something like "Okay Catherine, let's do this, I don't want you to have to think about this all day".  Thank goodness -- first on the list.  I could be awake by afternoon and tumor-free! I was definitely nervous but to tell you the truth -- I was going to be asleep the whole time.  I would wake up and it would be done.  My mind was very still and very calm.  Like acceptance.  Things could just happen without me trying to control them, or stop them.  This feeling is still with me.  I hope it stays with me.

Again I was wheeled through the vast hallways of UVA, down to another part I had never seen before, the operating rooms.  UVA hospital has 28 O.R.s going pretty much at all times.  Incredible.  I got parked in a dim room with my nurses Nancy and Brittany (she was pregnant and we talked morning sickness and kids) while people in scrubs came to check numerous pages taped to the wall of all of the daily O.R. schedules.  An anesthesiologist chewing gum came to ask questions, he was so confident and gorgeous I just remember saying yes to everything.  His partner Holly stopped by and they wheeled me down to my room.  She asked me about my last name DeSilvey and I told her Dennis was my father-in-law.  She said "When I took Internal Medicine, he was a wonderful teacher."  I talked to her about him, my family, and my blog -- to which she said "I had a health crisis a years ago & I wish I had kept a journal, but it affected me so much I decided to go into medicine and serve." She told me I would be alright, pulled up her mask, and looked at me with the kindest, brightest blue eyes. I'll never forget her.  Off I went.

At some point I was dreaming.  It was Josie, Bea, and me.  A very nice dream...I heard voices telling me it was over, and that I was alright.  I said, "I was having a dream about my daughters.  I was buying them Twinkies."  Then whooshed back to the NICU.